Asalamualaikum.hai.. so it's july . I have a great dissapointment memont yesterday . but t seems like I feel release . i cried . yeah . but this time i feel so complacent . shouting,crying,sobbing ... it was totally horibble  circumstances where I confront w my mom accidently. i know my momm was very symphathy w me and she really feel guilty . she knows how stress i am inn this year i've been a lot of tough moment when i stressed on somethng tht i did . i want a perfection . but.... my intuition wass fault . no . never n big NO to say .  i cant make things underwent perfectly right . it's totally hard to achieve  wht i seeking for . i feel like i've no chance to grab no opportunity to get . buti keep plausible myself and humble myself . I know Allah knows wht is the best for me 

two years ago , i had done the most biggest sin in my life . Im the cause of my father nearer to titian sirat . i had made my dad a hard way n i add on path to my dad to enter jannah. but i had promised myself to make it last n alhamdulillah that wa the last time i've been in a world tht full of sins and maksiat . i had sacrified in a wrong way which is I sacrified my soul and heart toward a person who never deserved to posses it . i was totally in critical mad of fuckin love w a wrong guy which  was  destroy my entire life . for me life is full of feeling . if i had hurt myself , that means i was destroy my whole life . alhamdulillah ... now i feel the calmness and the live of live. 

my purpose of living now is for the sake of Allah and my parents especially my beloved ibu . for me she's my everything now . I can say tht i wont be able to keep a distance from my ibu . idk . the strengthen of her effection makes me always want to approach her . seriesly .

im glad tht now I understand the meaning of sacrification . all in all , my live is all abt sacrification .in each time i teach myself to be a better person for the sake of Allah n parents instead of i've also hve such a wonderful friends . im very grateful w wht had Allah give me .  and the most precious thing is alhamdulillah Allah had granted my prayer :)